mel_pa (mel_pa) wrote,
mel_pa
mel_pa

Psychological Burqa

"Psychological Burqa"
Is this appropriate for the HHP list?

Earlier this month I saw an episode of "Issues" with Jane Velez Mitchel and sh eand the panel were discussing a case of a model found burnt in a dumpster which she refers to as part of the War Against Women. Mitchel expressed anger at what she rightfully calls a "psychological burqa" (no offense to Muslems) the restrictions placed on women allegedly to "be safe" from male-perpetrated violence. Mostly enforced by other women so they can avoid feeling vulnerable.

These restrictions in reality simple don't work. I feel the psychological burqa perpetuates violence against women by reenforcing women's class citizenship in society.

We need alternatives to the ineffective and demeaning restrictions on women and we need them now!

Like TREATING WOMEN AS EQUALS in the long run and condition women to fight like Hot Head (maybe not so literally in non-immenent situations) in the meantime!

Below is an excerp from that show:

PATSY WATKINS, MOTHER: They`ve got to find who did this to my baby. They`ve got to find who did this. Please.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I bet they will. I have a feeling.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

WATKINS: I lost my baby. She was only 26 years old. I`m just so mad that somebody out there knows something. My little girl left with somebody. I`m just so angry.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Did Paula Sladewski leave a Miami club with her killer? Witnesses told police they saw her with an unidentified man. We are hoping to get a police sketch with him in the next couple of days. We`re going to bring it to you as soon as we get it.

Meanwhile, we`re all wondering: why haven`t more people come forward who saw something? Phone lines, however, lighting up.

Shiva, Illinois, your question or thought, ma`am?

CALLER: Hi, Jane. I am not blaming the victim at all, but there is an old John Wayne movie that says -- where he says, "Dance with the one that brung you."

My question is, when are these young pretty women going to realize they cannot be out by theirselves even for a walk down their own street? They need to pair up.

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Well...

CALLER: When I went to college, we were told, "Pair up at night."

VELEZ-MITCHELL: OK. I think.

CALLER: "Don`t walk by yourself."

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Shiva, I think you raise an interesting point. Here`s my point, though, about that, Judge David Young. I don`t want to go back to the 18th century, where when I have to go to the bathroom, a guy has to escort me to the ladies` room, in order to protect me from another man.

How would you like to live in that world, where, if you want to walk down the street, you have to ask a person like me to help you go to your car, because another person like me might attack you?

Aren`t we really putting women in a psychological burka, when in fact, what we should do is address why are men so angry? Why are men killing women and setting them on fire? What`s going on with our culture, and that`s why we`re very delighted to have a very special guest who`s going to join us in a little bit to talk to us about that, somebody who`s truly extraordinary. But I ask you, Judge, right now.

JUDGE DAVID YOUNG, TV/RADIO PERSONALITY: Well, it`s a sad state of affairs. Unfortunately, women are being abused, whether they cause it themselves or society caused it.

In this case it`s particularly troubling, because, Jane, you had an innocent woman who only wanted to have a good time at a Lady Gaga concert with her boyfriend, and this horrendous thing happened to her.

You know, the way that I`m looking at this murder is that this was a professional done it, because the person had to know that by singing the body the way that person did, there`s going to be no evidence, no proof, no way that they could actually have any type of forensic evidence that could ever be deduced for any type of investigation. It`s absolutely disgraceful and disgusting and sickening.

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Yes. And it didn`t happen at the Lady Gaga concert. That was a couple of days before. But I get your point, absolutely.

Here`s my big issue. Somebody had to have seen something. You cannot tell me that Paula was murdered, her body transported, tossed into a Dumpster, set on fire in a major metropolitan area and nobody saw anything? Paula left Club Space in downtown Miami just before 7:30 a.m. Her body was discovered 14 hours later, 12 miles away, Judge David Young.

YOUNG: You have to believe that maybe the bartenders or somebody who was working there was not necessarily inebriated or on drugs or overdid, overdid it with alcohol, saw something, or people walking the streets, people who were out there. Somebody in Miami, my hometown, must have seen something. And they must have the courage of their conviction to come forward, because you`re talking about an innocent life that was taken.

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Yes. And Steve Kardian, you have actually done an undercover investigation into the dangers of nightclubs for "Inside Edition."

And you actually went into a New York City hot spot with hidden cameras, and in just one hour -- here you are, partying it up in a New York city nightclub -- five different women accepted drinks from you, a total stranger.

So that, of course, raises the possible that somebody may have dropped a date rape drug into a drink, and that could have impacted her decision making.

KARDIAN: Absolutely, Jane. When I went into that club I was looking for a couple of things. I was looking for what we referred to as a soft target. I was looking for women that were alone, that looked a little bit bored, that had maybe an empty drink. And those are the women I approached.

I didn`t approach the women that were with a group of other people or with a boyfriend. You know, I lecture across the country to women of all ages. And I have to say that anywhere...

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Why don`t you lecture to men across the country of all ages and tell them to cut this out?

KARDIAN: I do it as well. And what I tell everybody is that wherever you go, whether it be New York, L.A. or a small suburb of Tennessee that, if you drop your guard low enough, there is someone waiting to take advantage of you.

VELEZ-MITCHELL: I am so sick and tired of living like this. I really am. You know, I`ve been a journalist for 30 years, and I`ve been covering these murders for 30 years. And I am so sick and tired of it being business as usual, another murder. I mean, it`s an obscenity.

And I think that the problem here is that there is -- there`s a cultural dysfunction that has occurred. In other words, this is more than just a series of individual murders. It is a cultural dysfunction. We have to look at all of this behavior together and say, "Are we creating a culture where this is tolerated and accepted?"

And I`ll throw it to Dale Archer. Dr. Dale, psychiatrist.

ARCHER: Yes, I think that the issue here, Jane, is that there is definitely a big difference between men and women. And men, if we go back a hundred thousand years ago to the hunter/gatherer days, men were the hunters, the fighters, the warriors. And women stayed at home and were in the village, and they had to solve problems through rational thought.

So I think that the discrepancy now in a civilized society is very, very apparent. And I think you`re right on target. Women can be the answer to this solution by continually making the point, as you do, that the violence is mainly man against man and man against woman. But men are the operative problem because of the genetics that go into it, but we have thinking brains that can overcome our instinct. And we have to appeal to that nature now.

VELEZ-MITCHELL: And I want to say I`m not attacking men. I`m -- listen, who is devastated? The brothers, the fathers, the sons. This is about all peaceful people coming together and saying, as Howard Beale said, I`m sick and tired of this, and I`m not going to take it anymore.

And we`ve got an amazing person coming up to address the big issue, the spiritual issue. Up next, a very, very guest. Delighted to say we`re going to have author and renowned spiritual teacher, best-selling author Marianne Williamson. She will join me next for an in-depth conversation about the war on women.

And then we`re going to talk about Mitrice. This is a woman who is missing, and her dad is desperate, absolutely desperate, to find this woman.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, SPIRITUAL TEACHER: I want to talk to you this morning about your life. How many times do you feel, well, I don`t have the life that you want, so I`m going to imagine the life that I do want.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

VELEZ-MITCHELL: That is internationally-acclaimed spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson. I am thrilled and honored to have her as a guest here on ISSUES tonight.

Marianne, thanks for coming by. You are famous for many things, but among them "A Course in Miracles." You have a new project, "Sister Giant: Rousing the Sloping Giant of American Womanhood." I love that. I do want your insight into what we as women can do to combat the horrific violent crime against women that we report on every day. It`s gotten so bad we here on ISSUES have actually coined the term, "the war on women." Your thoughts?

WILLIAMSON: Well, you know, the problem is that we are always playing catch-up. We`re always in a reactive state when something horrible happens like the two murders -- or the one murder, hopefully not the murder of the other woman that you`ve mentioned.

We need to go back to what you yourself mentioned as a cultural dysfunction. We can`t just deal with this specific horrible thing that happens or that specific. We have an epidemic of violence against women and girls in our society, from partner stalking. We have a domestic slave trade, sex trafficking, domestically as well as internationally that we want to deal with.

And I think that we want to go back to some causal roots. We have to acknowledge, Americans need to acknowledge and to recognize, with all the shame and horror, that we have a very violent society. When you look at the violence on television, the violence on video games, the violence in our movies, the gratuitous violence against women on primetime television.

And there is such a thing as healthy shame. I think as we have this conversation and recognize all the ways in which each of us can play a part, I think, in so many of elements of our society, in recognizing that we`ve made violence sexy, that we`ve given almost a glamour to it in far too many cases, and then we act so astonished when it turns into this sort of societal pathology that truly leads to horrific things like these murders. I think that`s one thing.

VELEZ-MITCHELL: You have said what I have thought for so many years. We women have to stop subsidizing the violence against us. If we do not want violence in our lives, let`s stop watching all these violent shows. Let`s stop going to these movies that sexually torture women. These "Saw" type flicks that are horrific.

WILLIAMSON: It is so true. You know, there`s one television network that actually labels itself television for women. And there is more -- there`s so much gratuitous violence against women on this television network. And I think that we do need to speak up, and we do need to call sponsors, and we do need to be having this conversation.

And I also think that as -- while this is happening, we need a greater consciousness of the danger to women. I think it`s true what both your professionals and one of your callers said, which is a woman should not be, while this situation is the way it is -- a woman should not be walking alone in these situations.

Even, too, like one your criminal investigators said earlier in the program, that if a woman is even with another woman, statistically she will -- she does not stand the same chance of being accosted. And I think we need to teach our girls this. We need to tech our boys this.

You know, you said something earlier about we don`t want to go back to the century when men, you know, accompanied women. Well, the truth of the matter is, Jane, the violence is the same.

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Yes.

WILLIAMSON: And I think -- I think too many men think that almost it would appear too macho if they said to the woman, "Let me walk you to your car."

VELEZ-MITCHELL: Well, you raise some fascinating points. We`re going to take a quick break. Stay right there. Because I think we have to evolve forward. And you`re going to stay with us as we try to help a desperate father find his precious missing daughter who disappeared in Malibu.



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