"Big Yellow Taxi"
Hi, this is a story of sex, drugs, and a big yellow taxi...
Kerry Perry begs a adult figure for tickets to the Raging Pussys concert and gets them!
Late that night, young woman enters Kerry's room...an older woman named Katlin.
Kerry: (Jublibant) O-o-o-h! I GOT THEM babe!
(CLOSE UP OF KATLIN GIVING KERRY A HUG AND KISS)
Katlin: (whispering) Happy anniversary. (OUTSIDE KERRY'S ROOM THE ADULT FIGURE DOES NOT SEE KATLIN).
TIME: DAY. PLACE: KITCHEN. KERRY IS AT A TABLE ON A CELLPHONE.
Kerry: Hey, Kyle! I got two tickets to the Raging Pussys show , ya wanna come?
BUT WHY ARE THERE TWO TICKETS AND THREE OF THEM?
CUT TO KYLE'S HOME
Kyle: Yes! I'll ask my mom if she can drive us!
KYLE ASKS SHEILA BUT SAYS GERALD IS GOING TO USE THE CAR. SO THE LAST RESORT IS TO CALL...CARTMAN.
Kyle: (Calling Cartman) Hey, Cartman, can your mom drive us to the Raging Pussys show?
Kyle: See ya!
CUT TO KERRY'S HOME. TIME: AFTEROON, DAY OF SHOW.
TIGHT CLOSE UP OF CELLPHONE WE HEAR A RAGING PUSSYS RINGTONE. KERRY ANSWERS. IT IS KYLE.
Kyle: Uh, Kerry Cartman came over and he sounded like he's trying to weasel his way out of taking us to the, show. So I told him F@#% YOU!
KYLE AND SHEILA LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AS CARTMAN SHOWS UP IS ON HIS CELLPHONE TO LIANNE WHOM WE CAN TELL FROM CARTMAN'S BODY LANGUAGE IS COMFORTING HIM. KYLE AND SHEILA STICK THEIR FINGERS IN THEIR THROATS IN DISGUST.
SHEILA GETS ON THE CELLPHONE TO KERRY.
Sheila: Kerry? Look, come over, I'll call a cab and we'll all go!
Kerry: But how will you get a ticket?
Sheila: Maybe I'll find a scalper!
Kerry: Thank you! I'll be there in a few minutes! (Hangs up)
BUT WHAT ABOUT KATLIN?
Kerry: Katlin, what a way to sneak in!
WE SEE AN OLD PICTURE OF THE RAGING PUSSYS. KATLIN LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THE GUYS IN THE LINE UP--IT IS KATLIN WHEN SHE WAS A LIVING PERSON AND MALE. APPARENTLY, SHE TRANSITIONED http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transitioning_(transgender)
ALL THE SAME THEY HAVE TO GET READY TO GO TO THE SHOW IN A HURRY.
CUT TO KYLE'S HOME. TIME: NIGHT
KERRY HAS ARRIVED AT KYLE'S HOME BUT CARTMAN IS STILL THERE.
Kerry: (to Cartman) Thanks a lot, asshole!
THE CAB PULLS UP. KERRY, KYLE, SHEILA, AND AN INVISIBLE KATLIN, ARE LEAVING AS IKE GREETS KERRY--AND KATLIN!
Ike: (to Katlin) Hi-i-i!
SHEILA IS BAFFLED, BUT KYLE IS WONDERING WHICH CELEBRITY IKE IS SEEING THIS TIME.
IKE CAN SEE DEAD CELEBRITIES, HOWEVER GENDERQUEER http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer
KERRY CAN SEE DEAD TRANSPEOPLE.
DISSOLVE TO INTERIOR OF CAB. WE CAN SEE KERRY HOLD KATLIN'S HAND TRYING TO KEEP THE ACT HIDDEN FROM SHEILA.
KERRY DAYDREAMS ABOUT SELF AND KATLIN ON BEACH LIKE CHRIS ISAK IN "WICKED GAMES" VIDEOhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oaHHrNQVrg
KERRY IN A SHIRT AND A BINDER WATCHS KATLIN CAVORT TUGGING HER BIKINI BOTTOM LIKE THE VIDEO. WE HEAR THE MYSTERIOUS, HAUNTING, SONG UNDERSCORE THEIR DESIRE AND DEVOTION FOR EACH OTHER...
Sheila: Kerry! Were here!
KERRY SNAPS OUT OF THE DAYDREAM.
EVERYONE OUT OF THE CAB.
THE GROUP GETS READY TO LINE UP AS SHEILA REALLY DOES SEEKS OUT A SCALPER TO GET A TICKET SO SHE CAN CHAPORONE THE KIDS.
WE ARE SHOCKED(?) TO HEAR CARTMAN'S VOICE. HE IS SCALPING TICKETS!
Kyle: You stood us up! So you can come here to sell tickets at a jacked up price--you bastard!
Cartman: Yeah, ya wanna buy a ticket, Mrs. Broflovski ? Only $70.
SUDDENLY NATHAN APPEARS.
Nathan: (Holding up tickets) $60!
Nathan: $45 Goin once, going twice, sold!
SHEILA PAYS FOR THE TICKETS AND CARTMAN IS LEFT FUMING.
CARTMAN LOOKS AT THE UNSOLD TICKET AND DECIDES TO USE IT TO WATCH THE SHOW. A RAGING PUSSYS TICKET IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.
INSIDE VENUE. KERRY, KATLIN, KYLE TAKE A SEAT. THEY ARE SPOTTED BY CARTMAN WHO SITS NEXT TO THEM. UNBELIEVABLE LIANNE IS ACCOMPANYING CARTMAN, MAYBE SHE DROVE HIM TO THE SHOW AS A RESULT HIS MANIPULTIVE BEHAVIOR.
Lianne: Kyle, would you like a hotdog?
Kyle: No, thank you.
Lianne: Why not?
Kyle: It might have pork. Is there anything else?
Lianne: I don't know maybe I can see if there is anything fitting the dietary law.
LIANNE GETS UP TO GO TO THE CONCESSION STANDS. CARTMAN WAITS UNTIL SHE IS OUT OF EARSHOT.
Cartman: Goddamn it, Kyle, that's the last time I'll go with a Jew to a show!
NOW THEY ARE JOINED BY STAN.
Stan: I never thought I'd get here.
Kyle: Where were you? I've been trying to reach you but you weren't home.
Stan: I was visiting Jimmy and Timmy at summer camp...so many mosquitoes...I've never seen so many bloodsuckers since the Michael Jackson trial.
THE LIGHT DIM AS THE SHOW STARTS
Lead Singer: We want to dedicate this tour to our late drummer Keif who od'd in the flat of another dead rocker...
KATLIN FEELS HONORED ALTHOUGH INVISIBLE TO MOST OF THE LIVING WORLD
THE RAGING PUSSYS LAUNCH INTO THEIR MUSIC.
DISSOLVED TO WELL INTO THE SHOW.
KATLIN BEGINS TO LOSE HER INHABITIONS AS IF LOSING HER INHABITIONS WEREN'T THE NORM AS A LIVING PERSON. SHE STRIPS DOWN TO HER UNDERGARMENTS! HA HA! NO ONE CAN SEE THIS! THE ULTIMATE PRANK! IF ONLY THERE WERE A STRIPPER POLE AROUND!
THE RUGING PUSSY'S LEAD GUITARIST PUTS A CIGARETTE IN HIS MOUTH AS THE LEAD SINGER LIGHTS IT, THE LEAD GUITARIST ARCHES HIS EYEBROWS LIKE GROUCHO MARX.